New Year Blog, 2024

 

Bronchitis

 It is about a month since my last blog; most unusual. I have been otherwise engaged, chiefly in being very ill with acute bronchitis. As my self-image is of a reasonably healthy person, I am also rather offended at this sudden descent into illness. Hadn’t realised how very quickly the normal, quietly-expected reasonable health can disappear and with such rapid negative results. In fact, I have never felt so ill! The aftermath, as is usual post-M.E. long ago, is the present prolonged fatigue and weakness. I have no desire to walk outside, even on the terrace. Little desire to do anything except rest, sit, lie! And rage, though quietly, not to waste the energy!!

The Telegraph

My week in hospital was partly passed in a haze and partly in waiting to be released!! I said, rather too often, that I was most unwilling to be a ‘bed-blocker’ and was happy to leave at any time. No one took any notice. Hospital hours are astonishingly long and empty and boring but, since returning home about a week ago, has come the discovery that, though wonderful to be back, home without the attendant energy, also boasts incredibly long and inert lonely hours of ‘doing not much’. Writing emails is occasional and short-lived before I need a rest; occasional visits from family or friends, or, the very occasional Facetime session, are manna in the desert, but infrequently so, as people do have busy lives. My dear neighbour has bought me a newspaper over the last two or three days about which I became insanely excited! I specified The Guardian or The Times but once he bought me The Telegraph!! This was an undeserved blow which caused a dent in high spirits; had to read about the Queen at Balmoral. Words fail me!

Esther Rantzen, looking amazing at 83.

Esther Rantzen has been in the news talking of buzzing off to Dignitas in Switzerland as her Stage Four lung cancer progresses; she has single-handedly re-energised a public debate about ‘assisted dying’ a cause dear to the collective heart of many elderly people. A similar plea was made by Diana Rigg three years ago as she was dying of cancer. Certainly my having to part with my Belgian permission for euthanasia when I returned to live in England, was reluctant and regretful.

Some of the reprobates in pursuit of
health perhaps.
Or  en route to the pub?

SO useful to have in one’s back pocket, as it were!! If just being ill is so boring and difficult to bear, one can only imagine the tedium of having to hang around in order to stagger through the various stages of dying. Definitely to be avoided if possible. Now, with a public/Parliamentary discussion on the cards, there will be the usual public breast-beating about the dangers of allowing euthanasia; how the elderly or mentally fragile could be bumped off for the convenience or enrichment of their nearest and dearest. So predictable and typical; not sure quite why we are so nervous of this topic; the Belgians aren’t much different from the British and they seem to manage euthanasia without the entire nation having a breakdown!! They even have euthanasia for terminally ill children which is too distressing to even write about.

Back home, determined to finish this blog, after a superb Christmas at my son’s when, unusually, on the Day, I had the luxury of all my three children and all six grandchildren around, plus partners, wives etc!! I was struck by the easy cameraderie and various joint cooking endeavours accomplished apparently without rancour or dissent. I thought quietly how lucky I am to have the family I have. Meanwhile, I did nothing except sit and rest or lie and rest as my recovery continued! Although, being with the family did mean I dipped briefly into their lives which was both interesting and delightful! As I write I hear that about half of the family party has gone down with bad colds! Nothing comes free!

And now to 2024 which will begin a little later for me this year. I am hoping the fatigue fades during January leaving me free and energetic by early Feb at the latest. I shall march on as indefatigably as usual.