Random Acts of Kindness

                                                     

 

William Wordsworth
April 1770-April 1850

  

 feelings too
Of unremembered pleasure: such, perhaps,
As have no slight or trivial influence
On that best portion of a good man's life,
His little, nameless, unremembered, acts
Of kindness and of love.

Tintern Abbey by William Wordsworth

1798.

The memory of this lovely Wordsworth quote was sparked this morning as I walked home from shopping. A young woman overtook me, with a small child in a pushchair and, as she passed, her open coat swung behind her and caught my eye. It was a modern version of the Afghan coat I wore in the 70s, embroidered with traditional patterns; they were all the rage in the 1970s and I loved mine!! Without thinking, I called out,, “Love the coat!” and she strode on, looking briefly but so happily round, mouthing, ‘Thank you’ . Clearly she too loved her coat and was equally touched at the unexpected called-out compliment! As she strode on, she shot a second, delighted look back at me which was when I remembered the Wordsworth!

This little encounter delighted the recipient of my compliment and also me, the giver; I pondered on why it had occurred. The memory of a favourite coat years ago, had undoubtedly sparked my delight and my spontaneous remark had obviously pleased, and flattered the girl. An example of unplanned altruism I think; everyday life is probably filled with similar small acts of kindness like this. Psychologists have long debated whether some people are just born with a natural tendency to help others, a theory that suggests that altruism may be influenced by genetics. Altruism, like empathy and co-operation, activates the reward centres in the brain as neurobiologists have found and the positive feelings activated by exercising empathy or altruism, serve to reinforce the belief that compassionate behaviour can inspire a halo effect in others. Certainly, relationships and interaction with others have a major influence on altruistic behaviour and one study showed that children who observed reciprocal acts of altruistic behaviour, were far more likely than their peers, to exhibit altruistic behaviour themselves. Thus, modelling altruistic actions can be an important way to foster prosocial and compassionate actions in children who have observed this behaviour in others.

Psychologists have identified several different types of altruistic behaviours. These include:

1. Genetic altruism. This sub-set identifies those who engage in altruistic behaviours that benefit family members. This kin selection is an evolutionary theory that proposes that people are more likely to help those who are blood relatives because it will increase the odds of gene transmission to future generations thus ensuring the continuation of shared genes. The more closely people are related, the more likely people are to help others.

2. Reciprocal altruism. This mutual give-and-take relationship involved helping another person now because they may one da

y be able to return the favour.

3. Group-selected altruism. This involves engaging in acts of altruism for people, based on their group affiliation such as others in the same social or religious or political group, or in supporting social/religious/political causes that benefit a specific group or agenda.

4. Pure altruism. Moral altruism involving helping someone else when it is personally risky and without personal reward. Pure altruism results in behaviour which is motivated by internalised values and morals.

One thinks of Raoul Wallenberg, a Swedish diplomat who saved thousands of Jews in Hungary during the Nazi holocaust, exhibiting pure altruism in his sustained campaign to rescue Jews. He was subsequently imprisoned by the Soviets as part of a post-war Soviet campaign of menace against Sweden, and died at an unknown date in Russia. After Stalin’s death in 1953, thousands of German PoWs were released and stories of chance encounters in the late Forties, with Wallenberg, surfaced, despite Soviet denials. It is now assumed that he was probably executed in the Lubyanka in 1947.

Clearly, a sustained operation to save the lives of Jews in the Holocaust, was motivated by strong internalised values at the far end of a continuum with performing tiny random acts of kindness at one side, to the distant but related acts of prolonged courageous risk-taking to save many threatened lives at the other end.

At the Swedish Legation, Budapest, 1944, with Hungarian
Jewish co-workers. Wallenberg provided thousands of 
Hungarian Jews with Swedish protective passes.**

**The Swedish humanitarian, who managed to save thousands of Hungarian Jews from the Holocaust by employing hundreds of them in various office locations throughout Budapest, delivering a wide range of services from shelter and food rations to medical care, as well as issuing thousands of protective documents and security patrols, is remembered the world over for the heroism of his selfless courage. A supreme deadly irony that it was not the Nazis who killed Wallenberg, but the Russians, allies, who had bravely fought, and hugely suffered at the hands of, the Nazis.

1945 Jewish children who survived Auschwitz.

There are also other possible ‘incentives’ for altruism such as we might help others to relieve our own distress, or because being kind to others upholds our view of ourselves as kind people. I always admired my mother, who did not have an easy life, for her unfailing, spontaneous kindness and I notice that my self-image is of a kind person. Almost certainly this self-image is why I give £5 a month to a lovely Romanian woman who sells The Big Issue on Abbeygate Street. She has seven children in Ipswich and struggles to make ends meet. I don’t experience the rush of pleasure I felt with the compliment to the girl in The Coat but I do have the quiet pleasure of helping another                                                                                              while sustaining my self-image.

The Big Issue is bought by each seller for £2 and then
sold for £4.