The Honeymoon Blog

 

The Maldives seem to be prime honeymoon territory.

Costa Rica,
Cannot help but notice how frequently beaches 
and seascapes feature in honeymoon images.

Discovered this morning that my youngest grandson’s first wedding anniversary was today, [ 6^th November] memorial to a super occasion whose date had somehow slipped from my memory! I certainly remember the very, very joyous occasion; in fact, as both his brothers have got married as well in the short time since I returned to live in Britain, there have been three delightful weddings of grandsons AND ditto of my eldest grand- daughter too. Not only a succession of lovely and loving events but quite expensive ones too for a doting grandmother! In fact, the grandson mentioned in my aide-memoire above, departs with his bride on Friday week [14^th  November] for the Actual Honeymoon and I would divulge the two, possibly three, destinations if only I could recall them! I know it will be a fortnight in length and is taking place exactly a year after the event, following the fashion for Delayed Honeymoons, a concept which has become increasingly popular during the 21st century. One can see the attraction. Instead of organising the details of the getaway and rushing to pack suitcases amid the wedding-planning pressure, couples can take a breath, recuperate after the wedding chaos, and quietly juggle with possible ideas.

Perhaps Rome?

However, this has all set this ageing mind into belated action, wondering about the concept of ‘the honeymoon’, whence it came and how! I am also reminded that the name, ‘honeymoon’ may also refer to the phase in a couple’s relationship--- whether they are in matrimony or not--- that exists before getting used to everyday life together. “Oh, they’re still in the honeymoon phase” can often be heard.

The custom in Western culture of a newlywed couple going on holiday together originated in early nineteenth century Britain when upper class couples would take a ‘bridal tour’ sometimes accompanied by friends or family, to visit relatives who had not been able to attend the actual wedding. But towards the 1870s, the happy couple began to travel solo. These trips for bridal pairs only, were also attractive to the rich as a convenient and satisfying way to flaunt their wealth and social status.The practice soon spread to the European continent and became known in France as ‘ une voyage a la façon anglaise’, an English-style voyage, from the 1820s on. Honeymoon in the modern sense – a purely celebratory, romantic holiday undertaken by the couple alone – became widespread during la Belle Epoque in the late 1800s as one of the first examples of modern mass tourism and marked the period when the middle class began to aspire to join their upper class neighbours in this expensive celebration. However, according to some sources, the honeymoon is a relic of the much earlier ‘marriage by capture’, based on the practice of the husband going into hiding with his new wife to avoid reprisals from her relatives, with the intention that the woman would be pregnant by the end of the month and discovery would be immaterial! Admittedly, this does rather point to an earlier, more mediaeval, down-to-earth, practice!

Tahiti. Just one place which claims
to be the honeymoon capital of the
world!

Certainly, pre-mediaeval was the custom in Europe to give the newly-weds enough mead to last a month. Traditionally, the mead would have been fermented in honey, and the couple would have been expected to drink it all, a large quantity, during the following month; i.e. within 30 days. It was believed that the Honey Mead, considered an aphrodisiac, would increase the chances of conception. The very name, honeymoon, comes from the phrase, “a moon’s worth of honey mead." There is also an etymological journey! The honeymoon was originally the period following marriage ‘characterized by love and happiness’ as attested since 1546. The word may well allude to “the idea that the first month of marriage is the sweetest,” and originated from a mediaeval custom where newlyweds drank a honey-based mead for a moon cycle to ensure fertility and good fortune.  

Today, the very idea of a honeymoon has a positive meaning, but originally it may have referred to the inevitable waning of love, like a phase of the moon. In 1552, Richard Huloet wrote “

A painting by George Henry Boughton
     The Waning Honeymoon. 1878

Hony moone, a term proverbially applied to such as be newly married, which will not fall out at the first, but th’one loveth the other at the beginning exceedingly, the likelihood of their exceadinge love appearing to aswage, ye which time the vulgar people call the ‘hony mone."

The first recorded use of the word, ‘honeymoon’ to refer to the vacation after the wedding appeared in 1791 in a translation of German folk stories. The first recorded native English use of the word appeared in 1804 by Jacob Shamsian One 2015 scholarly study concluded that going on a honeymoon was associated with a somewhat lower risk of divorce, regardless of how much or how little is spent on the honeymoon itself. However, high spending and/or incurring significant debt on other wedding-related expenses such as engagement rings or wedding ceremonies, is associated with a higher risk of divorce. 

To end on a high note: I have now learned, from Vogue, Oct 23rd, 2023, of the Earlymoon which is apparently, " a rising trend" partly thanks to Pippa Middleton who went, a deux, to St Barts before her wedding though the concept remains 'niche'. No doubt the limitless planning and manoeuvring in anticipation of the Big Day imposes a certain weight on the delights of the Earlymoon. But it does chime with Samuel Johnson's opinion that during the first month after marriage, there is nothing but tenderness and pleasure.

 

 

Even an Earlymoon needs the sea!

P.S. Now discover that one of the earliest known origins of the concept of the honeymoon comes from 5th century Nordic traditions.